This blog will be in honor of those who are wanting God's best for their life and love and love life. I am inspired to write this based on a handful of amazing woman who are proving their strength and merit by standing by their husbands after near death events, another who has given her life for the service of those in small huts in African villages and loving God's children like few I have ever met, and she does this with only one man at her side... Jesus.
Here is what I gather from my own life, corrections and reminders from God, and from my friends and others radical and life given faith....
#1. No one person was meant to fulfill you, make you happy or be your "all in all"... that is the place for only God. Not to say that love and marriage don't have happy moments or fulfilling days, but it is NEVER the other person's job to make you fulfilled. You are in charge of your own happiness, contentment and the amount of love you choose to give away. Don't place that burden on anyone... it is far too much to ask.
#2. Life is not easy... fairy-tales have lied to us all. Now I still believe that epic love stories exist and people get swept off their feet and all that beautiful mushy stuff, however this also causes some people to feel as though they didn't get the dream, that they settled for a 'boring' life. But if you look at the movies none of them tell you what happens when prince charming keeps forgetting to pick up his royally dirty underwear or Cinderella buys too many glass slippers. Fairy Tales intentionally leave you not knowing the end... not hearing about life after the honeymoon and the rose colored glasses have cleared. Life in general is not supposed to be anything in particular. The bible even warns us that trials and tribulations should be expected, that hardships are normal. LIFE HAPPENS. I have met too many woman who have changed too many diapers and look at their life and don't realize what they have accomplished, what a rare feat it is to raise a child up in a loving and kind home.
#3. "I want" is a dangerous foundation on which to built a relationship. All through high-school and into my young twenties I was obsessed with getting married and having a family, I didn't want much of anything else. It was my greatest dream and aspiration. Ok so I was a bit crazy... boy crazy. It wasn't until a couple years ago that I realized that marriage would give me the power and access into someone's life and heart to love them but also hurt them deeper than anyone else. I realized the weight that my dreams carried and suddenly I was scared. (Now refer back to point one... I am not saying that the weight of that invisible person's entire happiness was now on my shoulders, but rather that Selfishness should not be part of the foundation on which I build a "forever".) Most of our internal universe is motivated by what we feel we have to do or want to do... this should not be the case for relationships. What I want still matters and my dreams are important but marriage comes with it the "in sickness and in health, for better or worse, till death do us part." Love and selfishness cannot co-exist within an motivation. If we give from love rather than a need to feel important or valued we give that person something far more valuable than daily actions, we give them God's love in reflection and that is far more valuable. If you are single... make sure you desire to be married holds with it the understanding that with that gift comes great responsibility and trust me... spiderman's got nothing on this.
#4. Still single and wondering if "he" will ever show up... Their is a dichotomy here that I cannot define, one side of the argument is that I truly believe that God cares about my heart and dreams and wants to see them fulfilled. But the other side of that reality is that God does not promise me my dreams, does not owe me my perfect life. If I get the chance to someday be a wife and mom that would be amazing... but I refuse to let the fulfillment or lack their of define the value of my life and my gift to society. What my life writes in history only God knows... the smallest act of love and sacrifice should ripple into someone's life I have never met and will never know the impact of who we are and the life we lived until God shows us from heaven. The value of my life is not mine to measure.
#5. You already have PERFECTION. Let me clarify... you are not perfect, neither am I. However I already have the greatest love in the Universe. I have a man who sacrificed his life, gave up immortality for a season, suffered greatly all so that He could give me a gift of love, to offer me the ability to have a relationship with Him for eternity. No mere man will ever be able to touch that kind of love that I already have pursuing my heart. God holds the blueprints of my soul, knows the intricate details of my dreams and loves me with unconditional love. It is easy to forget that, to want something more tangible, more human and forget what I already have. My friend in Africa and her very vocal relationship with God is inspiring and God has truly been her husband, taken care of her, and watched over her for years as she watched over so many amazing people that God loves. The truth is we all have the perfect love story, the most epic and grand gesture of love anyone has ever done or anyone else. When you are searching for that "perfect love" know that you already possess it. From my perspective, God owes me nothing and has given me more than I could ever hope or imagine. If you are married- make sure your spouse isn't trying to be God to you. If you are single, remember that all you will ever find is second best and that is beautifully orchestrated that way. So let your "dream guy" or "dream gal" off those white chargers and out of those painful glass slippers and let them be themselves, flaws, quirks and all. Embrace the imperfections and orchestrations of two people. They will never be God... never be perfect, embrace that reality and know you already have PERFECT.
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| Just Because |
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